Weekly Tools and Tips to Improve Any Relationship

August 5, 2015

A RED Planning a YELLOW Bridal Shower

My sweet niece is getting married. She lives in a different state than most of her family, and consequently feels the wedding plans are a bit one-sided. She is desperate to be surrounded by her own family. I readily agreed to throw a bridal shower for this fun-loving, VERY Yellow niece in her hometown.

This is how it all started:


Talk about clueless. I win the prize for being clueless. And I have no excuse. I work for Color Code.

Lets break down this innocent little message:

  1. I was hoping to have a little shower at your house.

How a Red reads this: I would like to invite 10 or so close girlfriends to attend a bridal shower at your house.

What a Yellow means: I’m inviting all relatives within driving distance along with all of my Facebook friends residing in your city. Boys and girls.

  1. Do a pool summer thingy.

How a Red reads this: Tables around the pool, with guests quietly conversing while they eat.

What a Yellow means: POOL PARTY!!!

The thought of having 30-100 people I don’t know swimming in my pool just didn’t sound like a good idea. I had to think of some way to discourage this. More later—much, much more.

Next, I needed to find out when the shower would happen. This proved to be a moving target. But after much back and forth, we finally decided on a date and the fact that it would be a brunch.


She did say I could do the invites, right? Being a Red, I jumped on it. I found out her colors (purple and blue) designed the invitations, printed them and checked them off my list. Then I got this:

AuntTBack to the drawing board.


Suits? At first I thought she was asking if dress was semi-formal. Nope, pool, again.


Next came the Pinterest messages:


Yellow: Here are NINE games we could play!

Red: Game?! How do you corral 50 (possibly wet) people to play a game?

I am not a “game” person. My idea of the perfect shower, be it wedding, baby, or whatever, is to go−eat cake−open presents−leave.


Decorations? Do tablecloths count? Once again, my idea of a tasteful, subdued brunch was flying out the window.


I could see I was in waaay over my Red head. I needed a Yellow on the team STAT.


Don’t you love a Yellow’s exuberant punctuation? It always makes me smile.

I held a meeting with Josh’s Yellow wife. She agreed to do all the “fun” stuff. Games, decorations—the lot.

That is until I spoke with her the week before the shower and she said she was going on a TRIP TO NEW YORK!!! EEEEE!!!

Umm, what about the shower and the fun stuff—you know—games and decorations?

Uh, yeah. I’m not sure I’ll have time because of my TRIP TO NEW YORK! I leave Tuesday and won’t be back until Friday. Sorry. Smiley Face.

And then this from my niece:


I could read her disappointment, and all of a sudden I was pretty ashamed of myself. My niece is getting married. She is a Yellow bride who wants this time to be about fun…about her. Why was I being so selfish? Shouldn’t her needs and wants trump mine during this important time of her life? Shouldn’t she have games, decorations, and balloons if that is what makes her happy? It is only one day in my life, but a lifetime of memories for her. And there is always chlorine.


And finally…


Mimosas? Oh dear. CC


Epilogue–June 29

As is often the case, my concerns were unwarranted. The shower was lovely. Josh’s wife showed up an hour early with a car full of Pinterest and Etsy-worthy decorations that she and her daughter created late in the night after landing from a long and grueling plane ride from New York. My niece’s guests were gracious and subdued.  The only people brave enough to go swimming were two children.

Turns out Reds aren’t always right.



Picture 1Teresa Glenn has been working with the Color Code since 2006, where her main focus is product development. She has been in the publishing and product development field for over 20 years. Teresa is a core Red with a strong Yellow secondary.